


Everything Has a Reason

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-22
Updated: 2005-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7093249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story begins just after Lilah has offered Team Angel the key to the office on the corner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Has a Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

"Angel, I...I just don't think this is a good idea. Working for Wolfram and Hart? Getting a paycheck from the company that represents evil...literally..." Fred shook her head gently and stared the vampire, "I just...can't..."

When Lilah left the hotel, after dropping her offer in their laps, it was Fred who spoke first. Lowering her head, she wasn't able to look Angel in the eyes anymore. She knew she'd see disappointment and sadness in them, and after what they'd all gone through recently, Fred knew her heart couldn't handle anymore bruising.

Angel was the champion of the helpless, but Fred couldn't help but wonder if he became CEO of evil central, would he continue that fight? She didn't know the answer, but she didn't think she could take a place by his side if he actually took Lilah's offer. She knew she was being a coward, but this was where she drew the line.

Wesley watched silently as Fred expressed her thoughts out loud, which were a duplicate of his own. Wesley knew that accepting Lilah's offer was complete and utter folly. He also knew that this law firm was no place for Fred, or any of the rest of the people in the lobby. Fred was the strongest woman he'd ever known, just one of the numerous reasons he had fallen in love with her. But from the past dealings with Wolfram and Hart, Wesley knew that this place would suck the life out of Fred. It was the kind of place that would ravage her, leaving her a shell of her former self.

Wesley continued his silence knowing this exchange, no matter how many people were in the lobby, was between Fred and Angel. Wesley knew Fred well enough to know that this wasn't just her way of telling Angel she couldn't accept the offer, she was going to leave. Wesley could see it in her face. 

Angel continued to lean against the door jamb, digesting what Fred had just told him. He would miss Fred, but she was doing the right thing. Angel didn't want any of the people he cared about to be in the clutches of Wolfram and Hart and he admired the courage it took for Fred to say no. Angel didn't have the luxury of saying no, because he knew he could use Wolfram and Hart to make a better life for Connor.

Angel nodded once, "It's okay, Fred. I don't want you mixed up with Wolfram and Hart." He looked around the lobby, meeting everyone's eyes, "Any of you..." No one said a word, he wondered if any of them would appear at the car in the morning. One by one, they all turned and headed to their respective homes.

The early morning came, sun safely still an hour from rising, and everyone was outside, standing next to the car. Only one of them had bags with them. Fred turned to each of her friends, hugging them and whispering endearments in their ears, how much she would miss them, and that she would keep in touch. Wesley watched Fred's tears fall silently down her cheeks while her friends got into the car that would take them to the belly of the beast.

The car door shut and the vehicle silently slid away. Wesley watched the car disappear down the street, "Where do you plan to go?"

Fred was quietly surprised that Wesley wasn't in the car with everyone else and just as quietly proud of his decision. "I'm going to go back to Texas. I haven't seen my parents in over a year and I miss my home." She turned to Wesley, giving him a small smile, "Besides, I'd like to finish my degree before I'm old and gray."

The sun began to peek above the horizon as Fred glanced at her watch then back at him, "What are you doing to do, Wes?"

Wesley hadn't thought much past his decision to not take Lilah's offer, so he honestly didn't have an answer for Fred. "I suppose I'll continue doing what I was doing before Jasmine's appearance. Although, most of the crew that I'd been working with are now dead or have left the city...it's really my only choice...."

Fred nodded, but hated the fact that Wesley was going to go back to a lonely and angry way of living. There had been so many things that needed to be said, should be said, but she pushed that aside, swallowing her pride and softly said, "You could always take a few weeks off and go on vacation."

She saw Wesley's eyebrows arch and she smiled, "After what we just went through, we deserve vacations." She gave him a wider grin, "And I hear Texas is really nice this time of year...." Fred didn't want Wesley to be alone, and she didn't want to be alone herself, so her suggestion killed two birds with one stone.

Wesley didn't question her offer or even think about her intentions or what it meant, he just gave her a grin of his own and said, "A vacation would be nice...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those few weeks Fred suggested to Wesley turned into a few months. After staying with Fred and her family for a while, Wesley learned what it was like to be around a real family. Each time he heaved a long sigh and said it was time to return to Los Angeles, Fred's father would find a new reason that would keep him in the Lone Star state a week or two longer. While Wesley wasn't helping Mr. Burkle with whatever new project he managed to dig up, he and Fred started working through their old demons.

They talked through the easier subjects and skirted around the harder ones. But it all came to a head one night outside when Fred and Wesley were sitting on the front porch watching the stars.

"That's Cassiopeia, right Wesley?" Fred asked as she pointed at a constellation in the sky.

Wesley pushed his glasses up his nose and nodded, "Yes and just to the lower left you will see Andromeda."

The star watching was a nightly ritual for them. Fred would ask about a star cluster, or two, and Wesley would answer and then Fred would ask about something harder that had to do with their lives in California. Tonight, Fred decided to talk about Lilah. Fred had finally been able to understand Wesley's reasonings for taking Connor. That was almost easy to understand, compared to what Wesley did with Lilah.

"Why her, Wesley? Why Lilah...? She was our enemy. She was, and technically still is, evil. And you...you and her..." Fred trailed off, still unable to actually vocalize what they'd done. She had been disgusted to know Wesley shared a bed with such a horrible person like Lilah.

Wesley could hear the contempt in Fred's voice and it made him inwardly wince. He didn't have a good reason for why he'd had a relationship with Lilah. He had to call it a relationship; the dollar bill in his wallet gave him that right. He'd almost thrown it out when he left for Texas with Fred, but something stopped him.

Standing, Wesley walked to the edge of the porch and leaned on the railing. He had a week's worth of facial hair and was gently rubbing his fingers across his scruffy chin. "I don't have a reason why I was with her..." Wesley trailed off because that was a lie. He did have a reason and telling Fred what she wanted to hear, essentially lying to her, would never heal this final chasm between them.

"No, that's not the truth. I have a reason and it's a perfectly sound reason. Although, I do not like being made to feel as though I betrayed you by...having a relationship with Lilah." Wesley turned to Fred, the moonlight lighting up her face gently as she stared at him. He wanted to reach out and rub his thumb across her cheek, but that would have to wait, if it ever happened at all.

Wesley kept talking before Fred could say anything, because he needed to get it all out, "You and I...we..we were never anything more than friends. I am an adult and having a relationship with another adult is something that happens everyday. Being with Lilah had nothing to do with you or anyone else." Each time he said the word 'relationship' it became harder and harder. He knew what he had with Lilah wasn't a true relationship, but it had been something. Something that kept him going when everything he'd known was gone.

Fred's eyes quickly moved to Wesley, her mouth set in a firm line, "Never had anything to do with any of us? Did you just say that it never had anything to do with any of us? Because unless you've completely forgotten the hole Lilah and her minions from that evil company left in Lorne's head, then it sure as hell did have something to do with the rest of us." Fred was so angry at him. She was angry that he didn't see anything wrong with shacking up with Lilah.

"And you never answered my question, Wesley. Why Lilah? Why...that's all I need to know....why." Fred stared at him, willing him to tell her the truth.

Wesley's eyes narrowed slightly as he began talking, "Why? Are you sure you truly want to know why, Fred?" Fred gave him a tiny nod and he continued, "Fine. This is why it was her...had to be her."

He turned his back to her, because he couldn't look her in the eyes while he said what needed to be said, "I was all alone, Fred. Yes by my own makings, but nevertheless, I was alone. I was in a place in my life where I had never been before and never thought I would be. It was dark and lonely and I was filled with rage. Rage at my friends, rage at myself, and rage at the entire situation. This rage, this anger, began filling me until one night it was too much to bear. Lilah was there. She was dark and evil and full of anger. She was the living embodiment of everything I was feeling inside myself. And so we...used one another. It was never more than sex. Never anything more than a tug of war of power; the power we could hold over the other's head. It wasn't until Lorne was hurt that I realized I was in too deep and it wasn't long after that it ended."

Wesley took a breath as he turned and looked into Fred's eyes. She had tears glistening on her cheeks and Wesley wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and wipe them away. There had been glances, touches on the backs of hands, bodies brushing close over the preceding weeks that had given Wesley hope. Hope that he would have the girl of his dreams, be the girl in his life. But now standing before her, telling her this awful tale, all that hope was gone.

"Don't you understand, Fred? I needed something...someone warm...someone alive...someone to hate the way I hated myself. I needed someone that understood self loathing. Lilah was that someone. She knew what it meant to hate yourself more than anyone I'd ever met in my life...even Angel. Her hatred fed my hatred and...and it kept me going when I thought there was no more reason to go on." He stood watching her face, staring into her eyes, pleading without saying anything for her to understand.

Fred wiped her cheeks slowly and after a few minutes, finally managed to whisper, "If you needed someone...why didn't you come to me? I...I could have been there for you. If I'd only known...how hard....oh god, Wesley, I'm so sorry..." She trailed off as she stared into his eyes. She saw so much shame and hurt and she wanted to reach out and hold him, but she didn't because she wasn't sure it was what he wanted.

He stared at her, "Don't you know, Fred? I wanted it to be you. I've always wanted it to be you. But how could I go to you when there were so many things separating us? And even if I could go to you, do you think I wanted you to see me so broken and dark? Do you think I wanted you to know how much I hated myself?" He shook his head, his own tears silently falling down his face, "No. I couldn't and wouldn't do that to you...never. I..." He swallowed and whispered, "I love you too much for that."

Wesley shook his head as he began walking to the door, "I...I shouldn't have said that. I am sorry, Fred....I'll...I'll go." His hand tightened around the door knob, but Fred's quickly closed over his.

"No...don't go. Please." His entire body was tense, like he was waiting for someone to hit him. Her hand gently ran up his arm as she gently turned him to face her. "I...I mean....it's just such a weight lifted....that..." Fred looked up into his eyes, the tears fresh on her cheeks, "I've wanted to say something...but...I didn't...and now...and..." 

Wesley knew what she was saying, but it was almost too good to be true. He knew that any minute he would wake up or she would pull away and laugh and say it was all a big joke. But he didn't and she didn't. Instead she whispered, "Wesley...I...," and then leaned up and softly kissed him. He returned her kiss, pulling her close.

He broke away first and buried his face against her neck. She softly ran her fingers through his hair as his soft sobs gently shook both of them. She could hear him apologizing over and over and she quieted him, "No....I'm sorry, Wes. Sorry I didn't open my eyes sooner....sorry I wasn't there sooner." She gently kissed his neck, "But I'm here now...and nothing is going to change that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The months stretched into years and Wesley and Fred's relationship grew stronger each day. Fred went back to school and finished her degree and then went on to land a position at one of the top physics departments at one of the top Universities in Texas. Wesley had his degree and following in the footsteps of Fred, became one of the English professors at the same University. On the day they were each offered tenure, Wesley proposed and with an excited squeak, Fred accepted.

They were married in her parent's backyard in a small, but beautiful ceremony. Angel, Cordelia, Gunn and Lorne were all there wishing the happy couple the best in life. After the wedding, their friends went back to LA and they returned to their quiet, but happy life of academia.

Another two years slipped by as Wesley and Fred's life together became more and more solid. It was a warm Spring day when Fred gave Wesley a present. He opened the box to find a t-shirt inside with the words 'World's Greatest Dad' printed in bold font on the front. Wesley was speechless and Fred began crying as he pulled her into his arms, his hand going to her stomach protectively.

Then, the even happier, couple told everyone and started slowly changing their life to welcome the new addition to the Wyndam-Pryce family. Wesley almost always came home each night with a new gift for the baby and that night was no different.

Fred just smiled and shook her head as Wesley began putting together another bookshelf he bought for the baby. "That sweet bundle is going to have more books to read than they could handle in a lifetime. I want them to explore the world in their room each day." Fred smiled and walked into the kitchen for some water, her hand gently rubbing through Wesley's hair as she walked by.

As she was taking a drink of her water, she heard the screwdriver fall to the floor and light scuffling. "Wes...? You ok...?" She walked into the living room to find Wesley being held in the air by his throat.

The hand holding him was attached to the body of a Sla'thay demon. The glass fell to the floor, shattering at Fred's feet. She rushed forward, yelling, "Wesley!", but a hand caught her and kept her back. She saw another Sla'thay demon behind her and she pulled away uselessly.

The demon glared at her and then at Wesley, "That disgusting excuse for a vampire was told what would happen if he didn't comply with the Senior Partner's request. He knew we'd go after his friends first...I just doubt he knew we'd go this far to get to him." The demon laughed as it threw Wesley across the room, smashing the Englishman's body into the entertainment center.

"Wesley!" Fred struggled, but the demon slammed her against the wall as it yelled, "Shut up, bitch." Wesley was slowly climbing to his feet when the demon who'd thrown him grabbed him by the neck again, "It's nothin' personal. But we got a job to do. You understand." The demon pulled a large blade out of its jacket as it slammed Wesley to the ground. It began carving words, deep into Wesley's stomach, piercing organs and breaking ribs.

Fred struggled helplessly, trying in vain to get away to help him. "No! Stop! Please...leave him alone! Please!" But the demon didn't stop until the words 'You should have complied' were carved deep into Wesley's chest and abdomen. The demon holding Fred glared at her, "Your turn...or should I say Junior's turn..." Fred screamed, "NO!", her hands covering her stomach as she tried to pull away.

Both demons were in front of her, "Stop screaming. It won't do no good." The demon that worked on Wesley took the same blade and sliced quickly in the vicinity of Fred's stomach. But the swipe missed her when the demon's hand fell off. Its scream of pain and terror was cut short as Wesley embedded an axe into its skull. The second demon moved a second too slow and had to watch as Wesley shoved a blade into its neck.

Both demons dropped to the floor, dead and Wesley smiled at Fred, "I did it..." Fred reached out and settled him on the couch as he slumped over, blood covering his entire body. She pulled him against her as she fumbled for the phone. Wesley stayed her hand and shook his head, "They won't make it in time...and they'll have spells put up to know if the job's done. And since they failed, they'll send another team..."

Fred shook her head, tears running down her face, "No....no, the ambulance will get here. We'll get you to the hospital. They'll fix you...they'll sew you up and you'll be fine. You have to finish the book case. You have papers to grade. You have to stay with me and never leave me...."

Wesley slowly raised his hand, pain shooting through his body, and stroked her cheek, "It doesn't hurt anymore...." His hand fell to his side as he coughed, blood spilling out of his mouth.

Fred pulled him close, kissing his face softly over and over, "Don't leave me...please don't leave us. We need you." Wesley opened his eyes, his hand resting on her stomach, "You'll never...be without me...." He gently squeezed her stomach one last time and whispered, "I love you....both." His hand fell away as his head gently fell to the side.

"NO!!" Fred screamed, clutching Wesley tight against her. She rocked him back and forth, the sobs shaking both their bodies. Time didn't exist as she held him against her. Finally, a pair of cold hands began pulling her away from her husband's lifeless body, "Fred...Fred..we have to go. They'll be here any minute."

Fred struggled, thinking it was another Sla'thay demon, but when she looked up, she saw that it was Angel. Fred screamed, "You! This is your fault! Why!? Why did you have to take that job?" Fred railed against his chest, beating and scratching and punching. Angel grabbed her and held her still.

"I know, Fred...and there is nothing I can say...god, Wesley." He glanced at the body of his friend and swallowed back the tears, "We have to go now, Fred. More are on their way...we have to go."

Fred looked up at him and whispered, "My life...he's gone...our baby will never.." Angel shook his head, "Your baby will know what a brave father he had, but we have to get you out of here now...Wesley would want you to leave."

Fred winced at his name and nodded, "He would...he wants me to go...he told me...before." Gunn stuck his head inside and yelled, "They're almost here, Angel, we have to go." Angel nodded as he pulled Fred from the house.

Fred let Angel drag her from the house and into a car with blackened windows. She was half pulled, half shoved into the backseat and then sat there as they sped away from everything she loved. Angel looked back at her, "Fred...are you still with us?"

Fred looked up at him, her face blank. "What...what do I do now? I have nothing..." Gunn turned around, glancing at her stomach, "You have something..."

Fred swallowed back her sob, her hands folding over her stomach, "I have...everything."


End file.
